Change

I always say that I am a "486 in a Post-Pentium world".  As I am sure you know, this is in reference to computer processor speeds and how they have (changed) sped up over the years.  Society is always demanding faster change and complaining when they don't get it.

Some of our parents and grandparents saw amazing change over the course of their lifetimes.  Personal computing wasn't even a pipedream when our grandparents were teenagers.  The colloquialisms we use now mean nothing to those generations upon which we are built.

I often think of a woman I knew in Arizona.  She passed in 2004.  Lenore was 108. (Quick math: 2004 - 108 =  1896)

Now,  lets think about the change Lenore dealt with:
1896 (Lenore is Born)
- Utah is the 45 state admitted to the union
– The Ford Quadricycle, the first Ford vehicle ever developed, is completed, eventually leading Henry Ford to build the empire that "put America on wheels".
1914
World War 1 STARTS.
1916  (Lenore is 20 years old)
– The light switch is invented by William J. Newton and Morris Goldberg.
1926 (Lenore is 30 years old)
- Television is DEMONSTRATED (not in production or widely in use...I said "DEMONSTRATED")
- Land on Broadway and Wall Street in New York City is sold at a RECORD $7 per sq inch.
- Queen Elizabeth II is BORN
1936 (Lenore is 40 years old)
 - Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind is first published.
 - President Franklin D. Roosevelt attends the dedication of Thomas Jefferson's head at Mount Rushmore.
1939 - 1945
World War II
1956 (Lenore is 60 years old)
– Elvis Presley enters the United States music charts for the first time, with Heartbreak Hotel.
– Norma Jean Mortenson legally changes her name to Marilyn Monroe.
– The first episode of As the World Turns is broadcast on the CBS television network
1976 (Lenore is 70 years old)
– The Cray-1, the first commercially developed supercomputer, is released by Seymour Cray's Cray Research.
- Apple Computer Company is formed by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.
- United States Bicentennial: From coast to coast, the United States celebrates the 200th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.
1996 (Lenore is 100 years old)
- The Nintendo 64 video game system is released in Japan.
- Motorola introduces the Motorola StarTAC Wearable Cellular Telephone, the world's smallest and lightest mobile phone at that time.
- Dolly the sheep, the first mammal to be successfully cloned from an adult cell, is born at the Roslin Institute in Midlothian, Scotland.
2004 (Lenore is 108)
– NASA's MER-A (Spirit) lands on Mars at 04:35 UTC
– Facebook was founded at Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Now, I am not saying that Lenore lived life free of complaints or that she was always happy.  She was human, just like the rest of us.  However, she loved to dance.  She loved it when everyone (not just her family) called her "Grandma", and she performed in Ballroom dancing tounaments with zeal. (and often no competition since most competitions divided contestants by age range!)

She saw so much change over he life, she was not surprised when "miracles" happened.  She had seen so many advancements, very little surprised her.  She had seen the human experience with her own eyes. 

What I take from my experience with Lenore is that change is inevitable.  It is how you deal with it that makes the difference.

Gay Suicides: Epidemic

Recently, the media has very publicly covered the suicides of several teenagers, some gay, and some just perceived gay.  Many have called the recent spate of violence and bullying an epidemic.

Community wide, this coverage and visibility is a blessing.  It is with great hope that we look to our leaders, from the pulpits to the podiums, to effect some change in the perception that Homosexuality is not a dividing line in the human race and that all children deserve the chance to become the best and most productive people that they can.

On a very personal note,  I am wondering why this is just now being called an epidemic.  Why is it now that we have finally put our collective foot down and said "this must end"?

Here are some startling things to know:  1989 - The US Secretary of Health and Human Services published a report which suggested that gay and lesbian youths are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide and that they account for up to 30% of the total adolescent suicide rate.

Let that sink in a minute....UP TO 30% of the total adolescent suicide rate.

For the purposes of this Blog, let's lower that number a little bit.  Let's assume 20% and allow the naysayers some wriggle room.

Time for some math. 

According to Suicide.org, in 2005, 4212 young people between the ages of 15 and 24 committed suicide.

If 20% of those 4212 people were homosexual, then (4212/20%) = 842 young gay people took their lives in 2005. That is an average of (842/52 weeks in a year) = 16 young people A WEEK!

I need to repeat that....16 young people a week.

My point is this, the recent media frenzy is LONG overdue.  This IS an epidemic.  But lets not forget those that lost the battle in the many years that we have been fighting to come out of the shadows.

I mourn for the families of all the children who believed that they weren't loved, or "normal", or even deserving of love.  More importantly, we should mourn all the children.  Not just the most recent ones.

National Coming Out Day

It certainly isn't a surprise that I am a gay man.  Most of you know that I spent years struggling with my sexuality.  I was very lucky to have one specific supportive person in my life to help me make the final leap to become a self-realized person. 

Here is the story as I remember it:

She was an Army Brat.  Her family had moved around a bit and landed in Tucson, AZ.  We met while training to be Ballroom Dance Teachers.  We had answered the same ad an started the training together. 

After growing up in a rather sheltered Catholic/Hispanic household,  her 1980's asymmetrical haircut was the craziest thing I had seen (other than on that new channel, MTV).

We liked the same music, she was easy to talk with, she had similar political views....what was NOT to love?  Was she the one for me?  Why not?  Didn't I deserve love?  She certainly did. 

We moved in together. A one bedroom.  Time to play house. Boyfriend and Girlfriend. 

Many apartments later and years of living together. Fighting together. Loving each other.  She knew ever thing about me including my continual struggle with who I was.  I was always faithful to her, but she saw it in me.  She loved me enough to tell me that she needed to move on, and that I needed to come to terms with myself.

Today, she is my best friend.  She has always been there for me.  I will do my best to always be there for her.  Thousands of miles separate us but I feel her love for me every day.  We don't speak regularly.  Life has gotten in the way of our regular communication, but when we do speak, it is as if the years and distance melt away.

Her love helped me to deal with my internal struggle.  Having her in my life kept me from becoming one of the statistics that we are reading about today.  Yes, I was the one that had to do the work, but I never felt completely alone or unloved.

This is a love letter from a 42 year old gay man to a 42 year old straight woman.

I wouldn't have made it without you.  I love you.

Thank you.