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We all look for approval of some type. The approval of our parents, family, friends, a loved one. I have read countless articles and books that all say the same thing: "You don't need other's approval, just build your own self esteem". Ok, I get that. But lets be painfully honest, if not with each other, than with ourselves.... no matter how confident you are in yourself, it is part of the human experience to look for approval from others.
I watch confident/successful people all the time. Some make huge definitive statements in order to get their point across. Some "share" ideas and invite conversation. But the truth is that they are all looking for "followers" for their statements and ideas. Someone to agree. These followers provide the approval and (sometimes) actual applause that they are looking for..... so even in their quest to be confident, they need approval from others.
I spent many years as a performer and still miss the approval and applause of an audience, but I have spent much of the last 15 years off the stage. Much of my business career has been about teaching myself to be better at things in order to gain the approval of my superiors and workmates. Getting that recognition/approval because I was able to provide a business solution where others had failed or dare not tread.
Now, I am not saying that we have to depend on others to find our own self esteem, but I am saying that we need to be aware how people effect our self perception. I KNOW that I am good enough for almost any job in IT management, but I require the approval of someone hiring me to actually get paid for it.
Eventually we all get kicked enough that we wonder if we are good enough to <fill-in-the-blank>. Of course we all find our way. We survive. Self doubt is ONLY a flag to find places for self improvement. It is up to us to use self doubt as a tool to build ourselves up, and not an anchor to drag us down.
Do I doubt my ability to do everything perfectly? ABSOLUTELY! Do I doubt my ability to learn from my mistakes? Not at all.
Albin sang it best in "La Cage aux Folles". "Give me the hook! Or the OVATION!"
Enjoy who you are...with or without the Applause.
