Skiing through Relationships (or Relationships through Skiing)

As some of you know, when the weather gets cold, I turn to skiing to combat the winter blahs.  Well, I was skiing this weekend in a social situation that was a little bit different....  My ex came to WI to ski and brought his on-again-off-again Boyfriend.  Now, to be clear, I was fine with this situation.  The ex and I try to stay friends, and I like the would-be boyfriend.  What was interesting was watching my ex try to bounce between us.

I have been skiing for 4 years.  I am not good, but I am not bad.  The ex is an expert skier, and the Boyfriend is a beginner.

Watching the dynamics that were in play was very interesting and really made me ponder life and the relationships that we form with the people around us.  I came up with a theory....not a new theory....but a theory, nonetheless.

These were the events as the day unfolded:

After one group lesson, the Boyfriend decided that skiing wasn't for him.

I skied the green and blue hills.  I was much more comfortable this year than last.  I put music on my earphones and fell only once.  I skied alone (most times).  I was happy until the snowboarders started to annoy me, and by then, a hot chocolate sounded better than another run.

My ex spent a LOT of energy running from hill to hill.  I am not sure he was really happy with any of it.  The way I see it, he had three choices to find happiness: 

1. Find a way to enjoy the Bunny Hill.  Practice some skills while watching the boyfriend in the ski lesson.
2. Find a way to enjoy the medium hills with me. This would have required some patience with my skills.
3. Or he could have skied the expert runs alone and found a way to enjoy the solitude that it provides.  

All of my ex's options required patience. #2 & #3 would have required communication with the Boyfriend and me.

What does this mean?  It means that in every relationship you have to work.  Either at having patience (my ex), or at getting better (the Boyfriend and me) and communication (getting the Boyfriend to understand that he wanted to ski the more difficult runs)

Skiing, like life, is a solitary sport.  Sure we can find someone who is willing to ski with us, but they probably won't be skiing at the same level.  They may be better, or worse.  It is incredibly rare to find someone who skis at the same pace you do and even then you can get out of sync if one of your falls or gets delayed on the chair lift.  What is important is that you find a way to enjoy the process of the relationship.  Helping each other learn, get up, dust off, and start skiing again.

SIDENOTE:  I don't think anyone had any real problems on this trip.  It was all cordial and civilized.  I just found it interesting and thought provoking.